Current mood:	exhausted
Current music:	Bob Dylan

To all you fuckers that come into panera
This is hysterical.

Furthermore... I have no sympathy for people who do not read the menu before ordering. If you order a dozen bagels and two tubs of cream cheese, that's what I will charge you for. When you go to denny's you don't ask for buttermilk pancakes, eggs, bacon and sausage. You ask for an Original Grand Slam. Likewise, if you want a bagel pack, then ask for a f---ing bagel pack.
The same goes for a UP2.

Standing in line: The menu is there while you're standing in line. You CAN read it instead of staring at the floor. Waiting in line is also a great time to call and see what mom wants instead of waiting until I'm ringing you up.
Don't apologize to me when you take six hours. I'm getting paid by the hour. Apologize to the people behind you who have to wait.

Absolutely do not ask me what kind of soup we have. It is on a menu that is clearly titled SOUP.
A seven year old knows how to spell soup.

Don't ask me for a frappuccino.

Don't ask me what kind of cream cheese we have. The menu is FOUR FEET TALL.

If you buy three mochas with a one hundred dollar bill, you should give me a dollar tip, you cheap bastard.

Being so close to the canadian border, we often get some candian change. This is not at big deal, as local banks accept canadian change as american. So don't give me back a fucking DIME after I have shut my drawer because it has boats on it instead of a president's head. Get over it.

Please, yell at me when we are out of cinnamon crunch bagels. I really did eat all 12 dozen of them by myself and it is my fault that they are gone.

Also, it's a great idea to come in at 7 AM and buy all of our muffins. No one else will want them-don't worry. Placing an order would be too much of an inconvienence for you, I know.

Don't come in five minutes before we close and get mad because we're out of something. Did you really think you were the only person in town that wanted to enjoy a cobblestone today?
If you have been waiting ALL DAY for broccoli cheddar in a breadbowl, then maybe you should have called at nine when you got to work in the morning to have us save you one, or you should have come in on your lunch break.

-Melissa

P.S. ah-see-ah-go